This raw and naughty book brings together the first two Splendificent novels in one ENORMOUS package…
Not that type of enormous package!
I swear.
Splendificent 1:
California cutie Giselle Nyfall arrives at the Big Apple to attend liberal arts college, Hemera University. But, when a computer glitch lands her with four extraordinary young women as roommates Giselle’s sheltered world is blown away.
These Hotties are supernatural aristocracy, the magical one percent: an elf princess who decapitates as well as she pirouettes, the B.B. gun-toting daughter of the Tooth Fairy, a glamorous and gold-digging fox spirit with thickness in all the right places, and a vampire-succubus hybrid with a bad gambling problem and a blood-soaked family tree.
This Hot Squad uncovers a demonic curse threatening New York City’s human elite orchestrated by denizens of the Christian Hell. The only cure? The five stunners themselves!
Splendificent 2:
The Hot Squad members must battle supernatural mercenaries, contend with a portal to the underworld, avoid demonic death traps and thwart a nefarious prince hellbent on fulfilling an ancient prophecy and bringing on the death of one Squad member who happens to be his sister. All difficult assignments when they’re constantly losing their skimpy clothes and falling into the arms of hot studs and each other!
Will Giselle and her voluptuous companions come together to triumph over the forces of evil? Does the family that slays together stay together? Find out in the sexy, hilarious and politically incorrect Splendificent 2!
WARNING:
This book is absolutely not for anyone under the age of 18! You, Mister 17 years and 364 days old? Move along, son, move along.
Here to tell us about a day in her life, is none other than, Fleur Flannagan of the book series Splendificent!
That’s what you wanna know? Heh, this might be not be as boring as I thought it would be. But don’t you fucking dare cum before I do. I hate it when they do that.
So my day? Waking up is always a bitch, especially when you've been on a bender the night before. So, there I was, hungover as fuck, with a mouth that tasted like Satan's asshole (I would know). The first thing I do is chug a bottle of mouthwash…or was it vodka…vodka mixed with mouthwash! That drink is recommend by nine out of then dentists I’ve met at my AA meetings.
Then, I stumble my sexy ass to the shower. I’m not like those other shitbags in hell, I know hygiene is important, even for the undead. As the hot water pounds against my sore body, I can't help but think about how good a thick one…or..uh..two…would feel pounding me just like that. So, naturally, I take matters into my own hands and rub one out right there in the shower. Where does my mind wander when it’s me and my three fingers? Well it ain’t Disneyland, buttercup!
So what was my favorite fantasy? The fantasy where your mother didn’t raise a nosy little shithead! Bwahahahaahah! Hey, you’re welcome to lean against the door and listen to my moans and dirty talk. What, feel wrong about that? Mmmm, lots of fun in getting kinky and corrupting someone who follows the rules! MWHAHAAHH!
After my little morning ritual, I throw on some clothes, or lack thereof, because why the fuck not? Ah, the wardrobe choices of Fleur Flannagan, Boston's bad girl and Hell's sweetheart. I like to keep things simple yet slutty. I felt like a goddess, or at least what I imagined a goddess would feel like if she had a hangover and a hankering for some dick!
I head to the nearest casino to try my luck. Of course, I end up losing my ass, and probably a kidney too, but hey, that's just Tuesday for me. Sometimes they make me work as a bunny girl to work off my debt. You know, passing out drinks, giggling mindlessly, stealing a few wallets here and there, letting the high rollers hump me to high heaven!
Ahahahha! Spent all ready, are ya? Don't think we're finished here. We have all night, baby~!
As I stumble out of the casino, broke as a joke, I spot a group of tall, dark and handsomes playing basketball. Did I mention dark? My pussy starts throbbing like a Metro Boomin beat, and I know exactly what I need to do. I strut my fine ass over there and challenge them to a game. Of course, they kick my ass, I love hoops, but my basketball skills are a lot like my lips…they suck! I mean, my dribbling skills are like my virginity…nonexistent, and I couldn't pass the ball to save my unholy soul. But who cares when my titties are bouncing around like lottery balls during Powerball?!
The guys on the court, bless their horny hearts, tried to hide their erections better than a pastor at a Pride parade, but it was futile. With each missed layup and botched pass, I'd give them a cheeky wink and a little booty shake, as if to say, "Oopsie daisy,tee-heh~!."
Their frustration grew with every point scored against us, but their boners? They were leading the pack. After a while when I missed a shot, which was more often than I'd care to admit, they'd all rush to console me, their hands "accidentally" grazing my ass or boobs in the process.
If their girlfriends are on the sidelines? Even better. I enjoy watching ‘em squirm everytime.
And that, folks, is how I made the Harlem Globetrotters!
This was going to be difficult.
This was going to be a violation of trust.
But it needed to be done.
Giselle stood in front of Stuart in his messy-even-though-he’s-only-been-there-a-couple-days-dorm, and she stood with pride.
Stuart was hammering away on Final Fantasy XIV on his gaming computer with his glowing green mouse and blue glowing keyboard.
"Stuart, I am special," Giselle announced with a Princess Magalinda worthy dramatic voice.
"Big facts," Stuart responded, “Look at those boobs on you! They’re mad huge! And you can make a lot of money off being special. Just don’t be like my cousin Joey Numbers. It starts with you stripping for old bitches. You get that easy side money, so you justify it. Then you start fucking those old bitches for extra cash. Cool? Then you’re the go-to guy in the old bitch pussy circle. The Steph Curry of fucking old bitches. Then their husbands offer more to watch. Then it turns into threesomes."
"Eeep!" Giselle squealed.
Stuart continued, "Then they offer you a large sum to have gay sex, and you justify it again. Now you're making big money. But at what cost, Giselle? At what cost?"
"At no cost because I’m not a guy, and I’m not a prostitute! Listen to me, Stu."
She wasn’t supposed to tell anyone about this, but she was being swallowed by her secret. And if anyone could give her some outside the box thinking it was Stuart.
"I’m kinda wrapped up in something dangerous," she said, clasping her hands.
Giselle Nyfall has lost a lot: her innocence, her Prince Charming Krisdane and her naughty vampire-demon BFF. Even her saved games! She’s not going to desert her Hot Squad, though, as the gorgeous gang vows to destroy Saint Lazarus of Bethany, the original vampire.
With his ancient reservoir of dark powers, Lazarus would be a formidable opponent on his own. Allied with the Squad’s arch-nemesis, the rebellious (though ravishing) elven prince Gorick, he may well be unstoppable. Even the resurrection of Giselle’s take-no-prisoners bestie (and Satan’s granddaughter) Fleur Flanagan may not be enough to turn the tide of
this epic battle.
The concupiscent co-eds bounce their way from bedrooms to boardrooms to afternoon tea with Satan himself, fighting the forces of evil with equal parts wit, luck and lust. If shedding their already skimpy clothing is what it takes to save the world, these babes are ready to make that sacrifice.
Warning: Splendificent 3 is a politically incorrect novel that contains adult themes, adult scenarios, adult language, and well…adult everything!
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