Soon they were soaking in the tub, surrounded by the soft glow of candlelight. Ella leaned against Finn and sighed contentedly as he wrapped his strong arms around her.
“I thought about you all day today,” he said.
“You did?”
“I couldn’t get the image of you with those kids out of my head. You were such a natural with them.”
“I’m crazy for tiny humans, always have been. I love their curiosity, big imaginations, big emotions. When a toddler is overjoyed, it’s infectious. They can’t contain it and it just oozes out of them. They feel everything so fully, so honestly, with their whole selves.”
“Do you want to have children of your own?”
“Finn…”
He squeezed her waist and said, “Have you ever thought about it?”
“Have you?” she asked, turning to face him.
“Ella, I would love to have a family with you someday, when we’re ready. Do you want to have a family with me?”
“Well, yes, but…”
“But what, baby?”
“I would want to have children with you, but I wouldn’t want to have them without you.”
“What do you mean?”
“The way I grew up, it just made me not want to do it on my own.”
“You wouldn’t be. We’d be together. I’m not going anywhere.”
“Finn, there’s more than one way to be alone. You spend your life flying around the world to shoot movies and attend film festivals. Where would that leave me? Alone.”
“Sweetheart, if we choose to have a family someday, some things would obviously change. I’ve been thinking about this since we met, but I didn’t want to bring it up and scare you away by asking too much too soon. But after I saw you today, I thought we could at least talk about it. It’s just a conversation.”
“You’ve been thinking about it all this time?”
“Yes,” he said, gently running his fingers down her arm.
“What have you been thinking about?”
“Well, we could take some time to be alone together, to travel. If we had a child, you would both travel with me to film sets. I can get the studio to rent us a house. We’d hire a nanny and any other kind of help we want so you could write, I could work, and we could all be together. When our oldest is school aged, I would only take jobs in LA, except maybe in the summers when we could all still travel as a family. We could show them the world. Being a husband and father would be my priority. You wouldn’t go to so much as a single doctor’s appointment alone unless you wanted to. If I had to give up acting and be a stay-at-home dad, that’s fine too.”
“Wow. You’ve really thought about this.”
“Well, yeah. I can’t help it. Our future spilled out before me when you told me you love me. But it’s just a fantasy. Sweetheart, there’s no pressure. Until today, I didn’t even know if children were a possibility. If we live our lives together, just the two of us, I’d be perfectly happy.” He planted a soft kiss in her hair.
“Just a fantasy?” she asked.
“Yeah, for now. Do you ever fantasize about our future?”
She nodded.
“Tell me.”
“Well, I always imagined that I’d keep working, but less than I do now. I’d want to spend time with my babies.”
“Babies?” he asked. “How many?”
“Three. Two girls and then a boy. I don’t care about gender, it’s just what I imagine.”
He rubbed her shoulder. “Tell me more.”
“They’d all look like you,” she said.
“Oh, see, in my mind each one of them looks just like you.”
She smiled and he kissed the tip of her nose.
“Keep going,” he said.
“Well, I like your idea of traveling together. I imagined that…”
“What, baby?”
“It’s silly.”
“Tell me anyway.”
“Well, it’s just a fantasy, but I can picture us buying a little house in the French countryside for summers and holidays. You know, one of those old stone houses with wooden beams on the ceilings and a wood-burning stove, with plenty of room outside for the kids to roll around in the grass and a space for me to write.” She crinkled her nose and shook her head. “I told you, it’s silly.”
“Not to me. I think it sounds perfect,” he said, kissing her. “So, two girls and a boy, huh? I should warn you, I’ve always liked traditional names, like Emily and Sarah. I’m guessing you gravitate toward more free-spirited names like Lula Belle or Blue Moon. I’m prepared to fight you on this.” He playfully put up his dukes, but she grabbed one of his hands and kissed it.
She laughed. “Actually, I was thinking if we had a girl, maybe we’d call her Betty. It’s completely traditional, but modern too. I don’t know. It’s just a thought.”
“Betty, huh? I love it. And you know what else? I love you.” He stopped to stroke the side of her face. “I love you so much, Ella. There’s no fantasy we can’t make a reality if we choose to. Come on, sweetheart. Let’s dry off and slip into bed. I want to show you exactly how I feel about you.”
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What an interesting book! Great excerpt. I'd love to read more.
ReplyDeleteThis sounds like a good book and I really like the cover.
ReplyDeletesounds so good.
ReplyDeleteSounds good.
ReplyDeleteI read 'Hollyland' by Patricia Leavy over the holidays and it was excellent.
ReplyDelete