LMAO! I’m a rocket scientist. Miss me with that noise.
Anyone else might have a nervous breakdown, but I was abducted with my besties. Among us, we have fifteen PhDs.
We will be getting off this planet. Trust.
No, I will not be finding an eternal bonded mate among the seven-foot-tall alien males.
No, I will not be wearing a furkini and walking around barefoot.
And no, I will not be moving into a cave with no internet or running water and accepting my fate like the rest of the freed human women on this craft-cocktail-forsaken planet.
Two liquid hydrogen rockets and a smidge of deep-space travel later, and we’re back home on Earth.
Except that our spaceship had stowaways.
Now there’s a seven-foot-tall alien named Cassius in my Los Angeles condo. He’s explaining calmly that according to the ancestors, we are supposed to be eternally mated, he’s bonded to me, and we’re going to have a litter of children. Also, he’s wearing a loincloth. And he has horns.
Wipe that smirk off your face. No, it is not as sexy as it sounds.
He barked at my cat. He harassed my busybody Karen neighbor (actually, I’m okay with that one). He’s obsessed with the ice maker on my fridge.
What’s a smart girl to do?
The smart thing is to build a rocket ship and send Cassius and his other hot alien friends back to their home planet.
The not-smart thing to do is fall into those deep blue-gray eyes and let him show me just how good that forked tongue feels.
And the downright stupid thing to do is fall in love with an alien.
This is a stand-alone, full-length, laugh-out-loud romantic comedy, complete with bad space puns, hot guys with horns, and enough steam to cause a supernova. Happily ever after guaranteed!
“Um, okay, so none of this”—I pointed at the guy with horns, the angry pregnant woman in front of me, and the barbarian alien landscape—“is going to work for me.”
“The alien slave ship carrying you and your friends crash-landed on this planet. You have to stay here forever and ever; there’s no way home,” the pregnant woman insisted as she rubbed her belly. “You’re going to bond with a mate and have babies to help repopulate the tribe. Our clan is in desperate need of women.”
The large half-naked horned alien smiled and waved awkwardly to me.
“I’m not repopulating anything,” Erin said loudly. “My people didn’t overcome centuries of oppression so that I can waste my three PhDs on a planet that doesn’t even have indoor plumbing, let alone anything as civilized as a mall. I can’t be trapped on this planet. I have a manicure on Monday. She does Ariana Grande’s nails, and there is a wait list. I’m going to lose my spot.”
“It’s already lost. You all have been in the stasis pods for the last two years,” the pregnant woman said triumphantly.
I tried to focus on how obnoxious the constant belly touching was so I didn’t completely lose it. Two years. Two freaking years?
Mel started sobbing, and I hugged her.
“Poor Bert,” she cried against my shoulder.
“I’m sure someone adopted him,” I consoled her.
“Is that your child?” the pregnant woman asked, mouth softening.
“Bert’s her corgi,” Ellen explained. “She’s a dog mom.”
The pregnant woman rolled her eyes like a twelve-year-old. “Ugh.”
“Hey!” I put my fists on my hips. “We all have jobs and lives, you know. We work for an aerospace engineering company. The US military and NASA rely on us. My cat may or may not miss me, but my plants are for sure all dead.”
“Your plants are dead because you are a horrible plant mom and forget to water them, not because you were abducted by aliens,” Angie hissed at me.
“I have six Birkin bags that need me,” Erin said defiantly.
“Well, you can’t get off this planet,” the pregnant woman snapped. “You will find a male here and fall in love. You will forget your lives as working girls and embrace your place as women of this tribe. You will learn to be happy here just like I am. I fell in love with the chief and now am blessed to be carrying his seed.”
I shuddered.
The chieftain’s mate glared at me. “You will garden, have babies, and cook over an open fire.”
“Kimmie almost burnt her condo down by boiling an egg,” Angie said. “She shouldn’t be cooking anything.”
Rules are meant to be broken. Except for one–Women can't get enough peonies.
Even the girl in front of me in line is admiring the peonies in my hand.
While I need these particular flowers for my latest plot, I'll still give Meghan the biggest, thickest bouquet I can find.
It's flattering how much she wants my peonies–
And I don't mind personally delivering.
Meghan
I love rules. They make life simple.
One rule I have for my future boyfriend? Fresh flowers every week.
The hot guy behind me in line had a gorgeous bouquet. He was perfect boyfriend material…
Until Mr. Perfect broke the unwritten rule of New York City lunch hour and found a devious way to cut the line.
He took my spot, making me late for a meeting, and then had the audacity to hand me his peonies as he waltzed out with what should have been my sandwich!
A wink and flowers from a handsome guy won't fix my disaster of a life.
My career as a lawyer is failing before it even started.
I live in a tiny, crumbling apartment.
I have to deal with my obnoxious supervisor who seems intent on taking Hunter's peonies for herself
Except that his peonies (and other flowers) are mine.
They were delivered to my desk at work!
Bouquet aside, Hunter breaks all my rules. I know I should ignore him. I know it's going to be an epic disaster.
But when he shows up at my door shirtless, with another excessive bouquet, well, I have to say screw the rules; I want his peonies and the rest of him too!
This fun, 40,000 word prequel is the kickoff to my new romantic comedy series about the Svensson Brothers! This RomCom features a boiling hot romance, the largest selection of hot brothers to ever grace your e-reader, and a heroine prone to making sexually suggestive comments!
Author Note: This book is given away to mailing list subscribers. If you purchase it, you are paying for something you could have gotten for free by signing up!
(Google gives me a small commission if you click on ads)
This sounds entertaining!
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