This Year I Commit to:
1) Only consume processed sugar on special occasions (and no, Fridays do not count).
2) Exercise five times per week for a minimum of thirty minutes per session.
3) Write daily journal entries, even if it’s just one sentence.
4) Set aside time for self-care, including long baths, walks, getting out into nature, and other things my favorite Instagram lifestyle gurus say I should do.
5) Find a new apartment without Creepy Hallway Guy and with a bedroom big enough that I can’t touch both sides at the same time.
6) Find lasting love with a good man. Translation: NO bad boys/grease monkeys/construction workers/unemployed but sexy men who want to use me as a crash pad or cash cow. Henceforth a good man shall be defined as an adult human who wears a suit to the job he goes to every day. He will also have an apartment or house he pays for without the help of a roommate, his parents, or the government. He will not ask me to fund his band, sure bet at the races, start-up automated vegan hot dog vending cart business, or any other whackadoo endeavor that has failure written all over it. I’m talking to you Dillion, Xander, Taylor, and Bart.
Number six is obviously my top priority, but according to Kaylie, the Lifestyle Queen, the other stuff must come first. I write today’s date, then add: Took hot bath. Otherwise failing. Must do better. Sighing, I close my journal and put it back on the porcelain throne, then sink into the water until it’s over my head. This time last year, I knew exactly where my future was heading—I was going to marry my boyfriend Joey, buy a house in Flushing, have a couple of kids, and live happily ever after. The old-fashioned American dream.
That was before Joey got fired from his third job in the two years we were together, then proceeded to take out his frustration on me in front of our friends at the Suds ’N’ Bowl. After him I went on a slew of crappy first dates that didn’t take before waving the white flag of surrender on dating altogether.
My mom didn’t take the news well and announced in her Christmas letter she was “learning to be comfortable with having a spinster daughter.” What century is this again?
In addition, I’ve been fending off calls, texts, and visits from my well-meaning aunts, who refuse to believe I’ve given up on love. Here’s a sample text conversation of how they view me.
Aunt Jean: Honey, I just read the news. You poor girl. I don’t want you to worry though, because Julia Roberts always got the man in her romcoms. If she can do it, so can you.
Me: Um, thanks.
Aunt Jean: Of course, she didn’t get hitched in real life until she was in her late thirties, unless you count that weird looking musician she was married to for a minute (which I don’t).
Me: Okay.
Aunt Jean: Although she did have to break up a marriage to get her happily ever after. I’m not saying that’s okay, but after a certain age ...
Me: Are you suggesting I start dating married men?
Aunt Jean: I refuse to put that in writing. And don’t tell your mom I said that. But it does seem to have worked out well for them, so…
All is fair in love and texting…
When Aimee Tompkins loaded up her old catering van and pulled into Manhattan, she had her sights set on becoming one of the best (and most lucrative) caterers to ever serve crudités and creampuffs in the Big Apple. But after a year of leaving fliers all over town, she’s not only running out of money, she’s running low on hope. So when she lands a gig at a big architecture firm, Aimee’s certain her luck is about to change.
Noel Fitzwilliam is pitching the most important project of his life—the type architects dream of. Everything has to go right, so when he finds the new caterer naked in his office bathroom right before the meeting, he’s torn between thrilled and extremely irritated. He doesn’t have time for romance, no matter how incredible she looks without her clothes on.
A mix-up means Aimee is accidentally given his cell number instead of his assistant’s. So when she starts texting Noel about how much she hates him, he decides to have a little fun with her. The last thing he expects is for her to turn his world upside-down. But that’s exactly what happens as the pair start sharing their deepest secrets and their greatest fears, and Noel discovers he can share so much more over the phone than he can in person. But what will happen when she finds out who he really is?
It’s a case of opposites attract, even when they repel…
Text and you shall receive…
Jen Flanders moved to New York to be an artist. This translates into walking dogs for money, practicing yoga for sanity, and hitting up her friends at a local bakery to supplement her diet. Rent is due and she’s running out of cash. After begging the universe for a sign that help is on the way, her phone pings with an incoming text. GOD: You can do it; I believe in you!
Gabriel Oliver Daly agreed to mentor a friend’s younger sister. Unbeknownst to him, after losing her phone, said sister uses her dog walker’s phone to text him about a job offer. He responds enthusiastically.
Jen can’t believe GOD is actually texting her! But who is she to question the ways of the universe? On the first day of texting, GOD gets her a job that will keep her afloat. On the second and third days he offers even more help.
Gabriel starts to think his friend’s sister might be too flighty to make it in the legal jungle of New York. Why exactly does she need a survival job? Wasn’t she supposed to be interviewing for a position as a junior lawyer? And why is she texting him random (not to mention very personal) stuff all the time?
When they finally meet, Jen realizes GOD isn’t a deity but a divinely handsome lawyer. A complete stranger has answered all her prayers. After all, God does move in mysterious ways.
May the text be with you…
Seraphina Lopez is not your typical airy-fairy astrology fanatic. First and foremost, she’s a businesswoman who happens to have a fascination with the stars. Her lifestyle app, “Live for Your Star Sign” is blowing up, and when she’s asked to be a guest on New York’s most watched Morning Show, she knows the exposure will launch her app into the stratosphere.
Astrophysicist Ben Williams just landed his dream job at NASA’s Goddard Institute, Not only is he heading a multi-disciplinary team in search of habitable exo-planets, he’s also been tapped to be the spokesman for the project. While he’d much rather be crunching the numbers to pinpoint the location of Earth II, he also has to sell the concept to the American public.
When Seraphina and Ben meet on the set of the Morning Show, sparks fly! Sera is there to show viewers how to dress for their star sign. Ben is there in the name of science. Their explosive chemistry sets records for the network’s viewing audience. As such they’re asked to host a regular segment--together.
Ben and Sera hate each other so much, they resort to texting instead of talking when they’re off air (and sometimes on). Yet somewhere in the haze of dislike, they start to realize they have more in common than they thought possible. Is love written in the stars or will it burn up on impact?
Find out in the Text Wars, the third installment of the deliciously funny and romantic Accidentally in Love Series.
Autumn Jones is at a crossroads. With no job offers in sight, she can either return to Koshkonong, Wisconsin to work at her dad’s feed store or she can move to New York and help her older sister Helen coordinate the Manhattan Kennel Club Show. She and Helen may fight like cats and dogs, but Autumn would rather live with a thousand Helens than go home after seven years of college.
Jack Campbell is the veterinarian to Manhattan’s elite. Despite their adoration, he does not love them back. In fact, he’s vowed never to date anyone who walks through the front door of his clinic. He spends his days caring for pampered poodles sporting diamond encrusted collars and placating their high maintenance owners. When he meets Autumn, he assumes she’s going to be another client with more money than brains.
Autumn is thrown into a bizarre world of highly competitive rich women who will do anything to win the coveted title of Best in Show at Manhattan’s most exclusive competition. With her haughty sister breathing down her neck, and a high-strung poodle following her everywhere she goes, she doesn’t have time for love, even if she does find herself face-to-face with America’s hottest vet every day.
Will Autumn run back to Wisconsin with her tail between her legs? Will Jack find out that appearances can be deceiving? Will Helen’s dog Fifi win Best in Show? Find out in the hysterical fourth edition of the Accidentally in Love Series, Text in Show.
'Twas the text before Christmas...
I'm Holly Snow and I'm in desperate need of a miracle.
I've been raising my five-year-old niece, Faith, since she was a baby. As much as I love her, I was twenty-three when my sister died. There was no way I was ready to be a single mom.
A few months ago, I managed to get Faith a partial scholarship to a ritzy preschool for gifted children. I've been struggling to make my portion of the tuition payments ever since. The bottom line is that I need to make more money. At this point, I'll take any job that allows me to look after Faith while I work—as it doesn't involve anything weird or illegal.
So, when my bestie, Toni, tells me her tall, dark, and Scroogy boss needs a personal shopper to take care of all his Christmas needs, I leap at the opportunity.
When I say yes, I have no idea Mr. Incredible will also end up needing a fake girlfriend. Apparently, he's got to prove to his family that he's the marrying type or they won't be turning over the keys to their investment brokerage to him come January.
I should definitely say no, but I'd be crazy not to take the obscene amount of money he's throwing my way. (Besides, who wouldn't want to live in the lap of luxury in a Newport mansion for a few days?)
As a bonus, Faith and I get completely new wardrobes so we can fit in. Now, I just have to promise myself not to fall in love with him.
Which is easier said than done.
Whitney loves to laugh, play with her kids, bake, and eat french fries -- not always in that order.
Whitney is a multi-award-winning author of romcoms, non-fiction humor, and middle reader fiction. Basically, she writes whatever the voices in her head tell her to.
She lives in the beautiful Pacific Northwest with her husband, Jimmy, where they raise children, chickens, and organic vegetables.
Gold Medal winner at the International Readers' Favorite Awards, 2017.
Silver medal winner at the International Readers' Favorite Awards, 2015, 2016.
Finalist RONE Awards, 2016.
Finalist at the IRFA 2016, 2017.
Finalist at the Book Excellence Awards, 2017
Finalist Top Shelf Indie Book Awards, 2017
Melanie Summers also writes steamy romance as MJ Summers.
Melanie made a name for herself with her debut novel, Break in Two, a contemporary romance that cracked the Top 10 Paid on Amazon in both the UK and Canada, and the top 50 Paid in the USA. Her highly acclaimed Full Hearts Series was picked up by both Piatkus Entice (a division of Hachette UK) and HarperCollins Canada. Her first three books have been translated into Czech and Slovak by EuroMedia. Since 2013, she has written and published three novellas, and eight novels (of which seven have been published). She has sold over a quarter of a million books around the globe.
In her previous life (i.e. before having children), Melanie got her Bachelor of Science from the University of Alberta, then went on to work in the soul-sucking customer service industry for a large cellular network provider that shall remain nameless (unless you write her personally - then she'll dish). On her days off, she took courses and studied to become a Chartered Mediator. That designation landed her a job at the R.C.M.P. as the Alternative Dispute Resolution Coordinator for 'K' Division. Having had enough of mediating arguments between gun-toting police officers, she decided it was much safer to have children so she could continue her study of conflict in a weapon-free environment (and one which doesn't require makeup and/or nylons).
Melanie resides in Edmonton with her husband, three young children, and their adorable but neurotic one-eyed dog. When she's not writing novels, Melanie loves reading (obviously), snuggling up on the couch with her family for movie night (which would not be complete without lots of popcorn and milkshakes), and long walks in the woods near her house. She also spends a lot more time thinking about doing yoga than actually doing yoga, which is why most of her photos are taken 'from above'. She also loves shutting down restaurants with her girlfriends. Well, not literally shutting them down, like calling the health inspector or something--more like just staying until they turn the lights off.
She is represented by Suzanne Brandreth of The Cooke Agency International.
(Google gives me a small commission if you click on ads)
This sounds fun!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on the release of Text and Confused, Melanie & Whitney, it sounds like a fun & delightful read for me, in fact the whole series sounds like a lot of fun to read! Good luck with your books and I hope the blitz is a success! Thanks for sharing it with me and have a fantastic weekend!
ReplyDeletelooks cute
ReplyDelete